Mind Palace
by Shennya
Summary: After all the loneliness and sadness that John had built the two years that Sherlock had been away and after all those feelings will turn into anger the first time I saw him walk up to him and tell him it had been devised by him, John knew that even time could erase a Sherlock of his life.


**Mind Palace**

After all the loneliness and sadness that John had built the two years that Sherlock had been away and after all those feelings will turn into anger the first time I saw him walk up to him and tell him it had been devised by him, John knew that even time could erase a Sherlock of his life.

It had been two years, two years in which he believed he could build a new life without Sherlock, a happy life... But the detective just had to appear again at his door to all the feelings go back to John's chest. The same feelings he believed he had managed to get over. Feelings he had never dared to confess to his friend and he probably would never confess, not now that they had become stronger.

Because ... Why would he tell him the truth? Sherlock was still the same cold and rational man as always. The same consultant detective who hated the emotions and feelings and considered them a disadvantage. Love? No, Sherlock thought love was a mistake that he would never feel. But he, John Watson, an army doctor who was too dominated by his human emotions because he was not a machine without feelings like his best friend. He had fallen into the error that was inevitable for humanity. He loved Sherlock and his absence and return had only served to reaffirm what he already suspected from the first moment he met him.

So John had to control his feelings that made him want to stroke Sherlock's hair or kiss him in the morning, when he looked at him getting out of the room. No, he had to control himself, though his hands were anxious to touch that smart detective, who saw through everything, but he could be so blind to some obvious things too...

But John remembered when he saw Sherlock sat in his chair and closed his eyes to enter his Mind Palace, maybe he could have a chance to be wih him. John decided to take advantage of those moments when Sherlock was disconnected from the world and he only payed attention to the things that were in his head. John discovered at that moments he could approach Sherlock and touch him... and he would never notice anything.

John knew Sherlock well. He knew the signs that indicated that the detective was about to open his eyes, which gave him enough time to get away from him and pretend he was doing other things...

The first time John just sat beside him on the couch, but as time passed he dared to touch him; his fingers stroked his hair and sometimes they slowly run down his cheekbones. John began to appreciate those moments, because they were the only ones that he could look at Sherlock intently and the only ones he could smell the scent of his neck or hug him gently.

'I missed you, Sherlock' he dared to murmur one day, knowing that he was living in his own world and he could hear nothing.

He slowly bowed his head and rested it on his shoulder, hoping his friend would not notice it. From John's eyes began to sprout the tears he had kept inside him since the moment Sherlock came back to him.

'Don't leave me again,' he said softly. 'I love you, Sherlock.'

That confession was one of the most difficult thing he ever did, though Sherlock could not hear him. So he tried to get away from him, he tried to give him space and not approach while he were in his Mind Palace. However, it was too tempting to be near him, so one day John decided to relax and went out to buy groceries.

But when he return, something very strange happened.

He opened the door, and when Sherlock saw him he got up from his chair and walked over to him, he looked worried.

'Obviously! that was what I needed!' he exclaimed, taking John's face in his hands, making him dropped all the food. 'Come on, we have no time to lose...'

'What? I don't understand, Sherlock.'

'Of course you don't understand, you never do.'

John frowned and tried to raise everything had fallen on the floor, but Sherlock did not allow him.

'We have no time for trivialities, John! I need to solve a case!'

'What do you want me to do?' he asked, desperate, while Sherlock sat on the couch.

The detective snorted in exasperation.

'Few moments ago I tried to enter my Mind Palace... and I could not concentrate' he said slowly, as if he had trouble to admit it.

John looked at him with confusion and surprise. How could he not have been able to concentrate? He, of all people...

'And I discovered that I needed something,' he added, raising his head.

'What?'

'You,' he said, quietly. 'You were gone. And, apparently, now I cannot concentrate properly if you're not around. The last few times you've been close to me while I'm organizing and connecting pieces of my memory...'

'Did you notice?' John interrupted him, feeling his cheeks began to blush.

'Of course! My whole body is aware of your proximity...

But John was not listening, he felt so embarassed that he cover his face with his hands.

'Why didn't you tell me?' he asked before he felt Sherlock pulled him and forced him to sit on the couch.

'Because I knew you would not do it again if I told you' he replied. 'Come on, John, I don't have time... I need to enter my Mind Palace now.'

'What do you want from me?'

'What you always do, to touch me. Come closer so I can concentrate.'

But John had sat away from him, now that he realized that Sherlock knew what he had done and perhaps what he had said, he did not dare to do it again. He felt terribly exposed.

Sherlock rolled his eyes and moved close to John. When he realized John was not going to move, he lay down, resting his head on his friend's lap.

'Much better' he said, smiling. Then, to the growing astonishment of John, he grabbed him from the shirt and made him lean on him... Sherlock gave him a quick kiss on the lips. 'Now I can concentrate...'

Then Sherlock put his hands together and looked at John one last time.

'You made me need you,' he said , and John did not know if it was an accusation or just a comment. 'This is going to become a terrible disadvantage for both of us' he added, before he closed his eyes.

And after John could get over the astonishment and confusion, he bowed to kiss the forehead of his handsome detective and he began to stroke his hair.

'Yes, a terrible disadvantage' he said, smiling.


End file.
